My smartest, most intuitive, brilliant, well read cousin in Idaho has started a blog. It sure is pretty. I really do not have web pretty skills. I can't even figure out how to put a pic on my blog. Better yet, I have about 30 things I need to post on Craig's List. It seems more overwhelming than it does practical to get the stiff posted and sold---so the stiff sits.....and sits.... Funny, considering the one side of my family does it for a living/hobby/what is the difference?
If I have not looked at the blogs for a few days I start to get concerned. My expatriate officer has yet to use spell check on his blog. So, I am a a moderator, and when I read his blog then I have to go back and and press the ABC with the check button that highlights the spelling issues and then right click to correct them. Usually the same words, really, drawer etc. It does not bother me because he is a really good writer and justice is not done to his writing when there are so many errors. However, when all I am doing is pressing spell check...well that is irritating. Maybe blogspot will upgrade and do automatic spell check like Word does. That would be nice.
I had three glasses of wine last night (Middle Sister Table Wine...in white...liked the label) and let Liam watch a mildly inappropriate Jackie Chan movie. He loves Jackie Chan. He laughs so hard. He says that it is okay that there are bad words because it reminds him what words he is NOT supposed to use--"so don't worry Mom", he tell me. He likes to help with my parenting guilt issues.
Hazel had her 11 year old doctor visit yesterday. She is 5'2 now---and I felt a twinge of sadness when he was telling us that because she started her period her height potential has been ...well.....not a lot of height potential left. I think the study of genetic height potential and the effects of puberty are interesting. The doctor knows I like these details so he humors me. Since her Dad is 5'10 and I am 5'5 and a half...based on her growth patters her genetic potential was 5'4 to 5'7. I was really hoping for the 5'7 for her. I think that is a great height. However, when you start your period 2 weeks prior to your 11th birthday---well....the brakes are slammed and you are lucky if you can pull out another 2 inches. I told her we could hang her from her feet from the ceiling. She was not really bothered about the conversation because she was focused on being hungry and getting back to school to give a presentation. She liked it when he talked to her about Middle School. She is always up for talking Middle School. She is rally excited about the changes coming her way academically. Ready for challenge. Anyway, I think I will hang her upside down...stick her on a Pilate's machine---when I am not obsessively clipping her nails and reminding her to brush her hair and wash her face. Parenting is strange. Today....she is having 4 teeth pulled in preparation for the braces in May. There is nothing gentle about turning 11.
I sent Lee a CNN article about marriage and life. The idea was that depression is not always depression...it can be disappointment. A new way to view it. I should post the link but I don't remember it. I like to evaluate things like this and give new words to the same old thing. He stumbled a bit trying to figure out if I was blaming him for something or who was supposed to be the one that is the target of the article. I did not know, it just seemed pertinent. We have been together for 14 years now and I get a regular list from him about what he needs me to do for him emotionally in order to make him happy. I shut down.....ME DO FOR YOU. I am the one on SSRI's for the past 7 years! Especially when (this is my repeat victim thing....makes him really mad....so I apologize in advance) I am here, working, raising the kids, taking care of the house, giving everything I have so that he can be a soldier. ----I keep going.....doing this when HE signed up to do this 6 years ago without my support--and have had to do this solo thing every year for at least 3 months but usually more. (victim rant is done now). Talk about disappointment. I felt it last night. Maybe the wine though. Possibly. Didn't go well. Maybe skype is not a good idea---too many ways to sigh and roll eyes.
Route 66. I feel that if Paul McCartney did it then I should. Me and the kids....with a pop up camper. I spend about an hour yesterday thinking about buying a pop up camper I found on Craig's list. Then I read about how much work they are to set up and take down. Sounded like a royal pain, especially when I am a solo adult. I still like the idea though. Maybe if I have one with the hydraulic lift? Does anyone remember my hitch obsession from my first blog. Well..that damn thing. Great hitch...but the dealer told me it was a 2 inch hitch and it is only a 1.25 inch. My bike carrier (thanks Dad) that was supposed to bring me so much joy is in the garage...box open....because I need a hitch adaptor AND someone with the patience to follow the directions and put the thing together. I was starting to sweat as I tried to lay out the pieces. So I left it. Do you think I could pull a pop up camper with a 1.25 hitch on the Jeep Patriot? Probably.
Then.....if I am not random enough. I spent 30 precious, yesterday minutes talking to my own personal Dog Whisperer that I just hired. His name is Ace...he is Spanish speaking but not sure where he is from because I have not met him yet. He is into dog behavior and pack management using a lot of the dog's genetics as a guide. He is in for some fun when he comes Saturday to observe this pack. Me, the kids, the two untrained dogs, the cat---all in the 1650 sq. foot Town Home. No, not motor home...Town Home. Good luck to Ace!
My head is so jumbled with this and that and what to do and what not to do. Not crazy jumbled....but just craving a devoted emotion. Craving a plan and the focus that sometimes comes with a plan. When was the last time I had a plan?
TGIF--off to the shower then the dentist with Hazel. I hope they give her gas--poor girl. Then...later to the Mayo with Liam for his light therapy (by the way..THAT is going really well...his skin is really making some melanin....way to go melanocytes).
I am thinking that I really do need Route 66. Sooner than later.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Presidential Optimism and "my spouse packed a poiki for Iraq"
I worked yesterday during the Inauguration. Many rooms at the hospital had it on TV. I was placing a PICC line in a room during Aretha Franklin's song. My patient was 85 years old and had dementia, rather severe so our conversations were limited. He was sweet and said he was from Chicago and worked for the railroad. Anyway, I made some comment about Aretha's amazing voice and all he said was, "That is a silly hat."
The administration at the hospital played the inauguration in a few auditoriums for those employees that have the kind of position that allows them to leave the floor or their office and go to an auditorium (not mine...or ...not any of the nurses in the hospital). My floor, well I think I have mentioned that I am the ONLY Obama supporter in my department. Beyond that, the majority of the people I work with are more that non-supporters, they are angry and not afraid to say derogatory things about the new President and the election. I was told that it was crazy that people were claiming he was the first African American President when his mother was white, he was raised by white grand-parents and his father was black but a Muslim. It was also pointed out to me that he lived in Indonesia much of the time. I just sighed and left the conversation. Why even try to defend the beauty of this Presidency? The color of his skin, the message of hope, the unyielding confidence and peace present while making decisions. I am so proud of our country and the excitement we had for this election. I am more excited to see various people think about it more and make plans to "be the message" to get involved, to volunteer. I am so proud and optimistic.
Lee is not feeling well in Iraq. He may be getting a cold. He does not deal well with little upsets like this and requires tons of sleep. He gets grumpy and resentful that he has to miss a workout. So it is difficult to talk to him right now, he is moody and detached. Big things for the kids in the past week could have used a few kind words from him or a sweet e-mail or a picture but he is working late and feeling ill and his head is in Iraq, missing us and wishing that we could do more make him feel less lonely. We really do not hear from him much lately. He is not writing on his blog very often which I miss because it gave a lot of insight to his days. He worked hard on the composition and messages he was putting forward. I know it was a lot of work and I can see how it can get tedious especially when there are so many Army details he has to leave out -- and his mind in on the Army details. I can feel already how difficult the transition is going to be when he returns. But, my, how we miss him at home.
Liam was looking for gloves today because it is SO COLD! I thought Lee might have some so I unpacked a bag he had packed for Iraq but ended up not taking due to space. No gloves but I did find some dirty cloths (yuck...4 months old) and a large cast iron pot and his Latin dancing shoes. I was laughing thinking that at some point in his packing he must have forgot where he was going and thought he was going to be cooking a South African Poiki and then going dancing?
The administration at the hospital played the inauguration in a few auditoriums for those employees that have the kind of position that allows them to leave the floor or their office and go to an auditorium (not mine...or ...not any of the nurses in the hospital). My floor, well I think I have mentioned that I am the ONLY Obama supporter in my department. Beyond that, the majority of the people I work with are more that non-supporters, they are angry and not afraid to say derogatory things about the new President and the election. I was told that it was crazy that people were claiming he was the first African American President when his mother was white, he was raised by white grand-parents and his father was black but a Muslim. It was also pointed out to me that he lived in Indonesia much of the time. I just sighed and left the conversation. Why even try to defend the beauty of this Presidency? The color of his skin, the message of hope, the unyielding confidence and peace present while making decisions. I am so proud of our country and the excitement we had for this election. I am more excited to see various people think about it more and make plans to "be the message" to get involved, to volunteer. I am so proud and optimistic.
Lee is not feeling well in Iraq. He may be getting a cold. He does not deal well with little upsets like this and requires tons of sleep. He gets grumpy and resentful that he has to miss a workout. So it is difficult to talk to him right now, he is moody and detached. Big things for the kids in the past week could have used a few kind words from him or a sweet e-mail or a picture but he is working late and feeling ill and his head is in Iraq, missing us and wishing that we could do more make him feel less lonely. We really do not hear from him much lately. He is not writing on his blog very often which I miss because it gave a lot of insight to his days. He worked hard on the composition and messages he was putting forward. I know it was a lot of work and I can see how it can get tedious especially when there are so many Army details he has to leave out -- and his mind in on the Army details. I can feel already how difficult the transition is going to be when he returns. But, my, how we miss him at home.
Liam was looking for gloves today because it is SO COLD! I thought Lee might have some so I unpacked a bag he had packed for Iraq but ended up not taking due to space. No gloves but I did find some dirty cloths (yuck...4 months old) and a large cast iron pot and his Latin dancing shoes. I was laughing thinking that at some point in his packing he must have forgot where he was going and thought he was going to be cooking a South African Poiki and then going dancing?
Saturday, January 17, 2009
English Rugby and the USO
Hazel and I went to see the Leeds' Rhinos in a rugby match today. We saw them last year when they were here and enjoyed it. It was very cold outside for us so we did not last the entire match. However, there was USO booth on site taking donations. I went to the table to give a few dollars. All was fine but I teared up when I put my money in the jar. There are a lot of men at Rugby matches. Tons of them. Lots of men with kids and families as well. I missed my husband being with me and I missed my family being an entire unit. Hazel and I left early and went to Borders.
My little man is at at his friend's house having a long day and sleep over. He was really looking forward to it. He has been talking to me non stop lately about going to Lego land in California. I have even been looking up discount plane tickets to San Diego. I would love to make this little boy excited about a trip for HIM. He misses Lee a lot and withdraws at times. Overall he is well but I don't think he feels very "special" right now with all the focus on choosing Hazel's Middle School and working on Hazel's research papers and her soccer etc. He is so, so special to me. I am having trouble making sure I spend the one one one with him. It is easier when there are two adults.
My little man is at at his friend's house having a long day and sleep over. He was really looking forward to it. He has been talking to me non stop lately about going to Lego land in California. I have even been looking up discount plane tickets to San Diego. I would love to make this little boy excited about a trip for HIM. He misses Lee a lot and withdraws at times. Overall he is well but I don't think he feels very "special" right now with all the focus on choosing Hazel's Middle School and working on Hazel's research papers and her soccer etc. He is so, so special to me. I am having trouble making sure I spend the one one one with him. It is easier when there are two adults.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Skype fights and Pedi-paws....
Lee and I had a Skype Fight this morning. When you are only able to live text your spouse (no video) --well..the conversations can be interesting. I type slower than Lee, so for a bit he had his running gloves on and I told him it was like taking the Queen out of the Chess match to make the playing field more even. Anyway, there are subtle things that get missed in an argument over skype. Same issues, different medium. Kind of like art really.
Anyway, I think it all faded after a bit and so life continues. I have been half amused at the concept of a skype fight all day.
More amusing things...I tried to use Lee's hair clippers to cut Alvin's (small...white puffy dog) face hair. He has the tear stains that white dogs get and they drive me crazy. I did not hurt him but he won't be winning any dog shows in the near future. Then, while I had the momentum going, I bought the "As Seen On TV" product called Pedi-paws. They(as seen on T.V. people) claim your dog will love it and you can gently grind down their nails (and round them) and prevent the pain associated with clipping and hitting the sensitive quick. I paid 11 extra at the groomers for them to use this device so I decided I would save a few dollars and try it myself. Both dogs ran for the hills as soon as I turned it on. The scene did not improve as I sat on them (one at a time...more..gently leaning over them) and gripped the foot to start the process. I was only able to get a start on one nail...on one dog. To be continued.....
Kid's are good....watching The Corpse Bride on the new streaming Netflix/Blue-ray gadget thing I bought and set up solo......they are amused with the clay animation.
Note..tonight is the biggest full moon of 2009. I have been waiting for it all day.
Anyway, I think it all faded after a bit and so life continues. I have been half amused at the concept of a skype fight all day.
More amusing things...I tried to use Lee's hair clippers to cut Alvin's (small...white puffy dog) face hair. He has the tear stains that white dogs get and they drive me crazy. I did not hurt him but he won't be winning any dog shows in the near future. Then, while I had the momentum going, I bought the "As Seen On TV" product called Pedi-paws. They(as seen on T.V. people) claim your dog will love it and you can gently grind down their nails (and round them) and prevent the pain associated with clipping and hitting the sensitive quick. I paid 11 extra at the groomers for them to use this device so I decided I would save a few dollars and try it myself. Both dogs ran for the hills as soon as I turned it on. The scene did not improve as I sat on them (one at a time...more..gently leaning over them) and gripped the foot to start the process. I was only able to get a start on one nail...on one dog. To be continued.....
Kid's are good....watching The Corpse Bride on the new streaming Netflix/Blue-ray gadget thing I bought and set up solo......they are amused with the clay animation.
Note..tonight is the biggest full moon of 2009. I have been waiting for it all day.
Thursday, January 8, 2009
School choices for kids, random thoughts that wake me up too early
During the next month I need to make a few decisions regarding the kid's schools. Hazel is headed to 6th grade, Middle School. She is ready. She is excited. The thing is I need to choose where to send her. She is very bright and has been in the gifted program during Elementary School. I am fortunate because this gives us more options. There are a few really great schools that are designated for the gifted kids so she will get classes that are created to challenge her and excite her brain. The thing is there are three different schools. They are all in Downtown Jacksonville (requires long bus rides/car pools). Due to Lee's active duty status we actually get first priority on the school we choose. I have it narrowed down to two schools and will be going on tours next week. Hopefully this will help me choose the best place for Hazel.
Liam. This is what had me awake at 5 am, working various options over in my head. He is gifted too, but has a few more challenges with writing and reading. He can stay at his current school and get his one day a week Gifted pull out. This is what Hazel did all through school. The thing is he really "hates" every other day at school. He also has issues making up the work he misses while in gifted pull out. Writing is difficult for him, so he is often frustrated and upset when it comes to the work, afraid to not get it done and disappoint his teachers. There are Elementary Schools in the district that are Gifted Magnet schools. No pull out, every day gifted education. One school in particular, Jacksonville Beach Elementary, gets amazing reviews. Because of Lee's current active duty status I could transfer him there. However, after this year, when Lee is not on active duty, he would not get in because we do not live int he correct "Zone" etc. Sounds great, except this school is at the Beach. I would have to drive him there daily. The location is about 20 minutes in the opposite direction of where Hazel will be going to school. Plus, he would have to go through a change in schools, leave his little friends etc...... It is hard to make a decision like this in my current situation. With Lee here I would be able to discuss our daily schedules, he would have one. Together we could decide if this was something we could pull off...for a few years. Or, if it would make life too difficult.
Throw into the mix the possibility that I might head back to school next year to study my Master's in Nursing to become a Nurse Practitioner and now things are looking really, really complicated. Although, if I was in school I would have a more flexible schedule......
These are my thoughts at 5 am. Then my brain suggests we just move to a more convenient neighborhood....will a huge yard and a pool....(no this has nothing to do with the schools...). Then I am up.
Hazel followed me out of bed...she is sitting on the couch scratching a few Mosquito Bites...rubbing Benadryl on them and telling me about her dream last night (about Keystone Camp). Then she requests a big glass of milk and sits at the table to work on her Elvis Presley report. I have turned on a recording of one of Elvis' rehearsals to set the mood. The dogs are on the floor...chewing random inappropriate things.
Today, I am going with the kids and their gifted glass to see Chinese Acrobats then on to a Chinese Buffet. The theme this year in China. I feel lucky to be able to come with them on the majority of their field trips. Even at 8 and 10 they are excited to have me at school. I like that.
Liam. This is what had me awake at 5 am, working various options over in my head. He is gifted too, but has a few more challenges with writing and reading. He can stay at his current school and get his one day a week Gifted pull out. This is what Hazel did all through school. The thing is he really "hates" every other day at school. He also has issues making up the work he misses while in gifted pull out. Writing is difficult for him, so he is often frustrated and upset when it comes to the work, afraid to not get it done and disappoint his teachers. There are Elementary Schools in the district that are Gifted Magnet schools. No pull out, every day gifted education. One school in particular, Jacksonville Beach Elementary, gets amazing reviews. Because of Lee's current active duty status I could transfer him there. However, after this year, when Lee is not on active duty, he would not get in because we do not live int he correct "Zone" etc. Sounds great, except this school is at the Beach. I would have to drive him there daily. The location is about 20 minutes in the opposite direction of where Hazel will be going to school. Plus, he would have to go through a change in schools, leave his little friends etc...... It is hard to make a decision like this in my current situation. With Lee here I would be able to discuss our daily schedules, he would have one. Together we could decide if this was something we could pull off...for a few years. Or, if it would make life too difficult.
Throw into the mix the possibility that I might head back to school next year to study my Master's in Nursing to become a Nurse Practitioner and now things are looking really, really complicated. Although, if I was in school I would have a more flexible schedule......
These are my thoughts at 5 am. Then my brain suggests we just move to a more convenient neighborhood....will a huge yard and a pool....(no this has nothing to do with the schools...). Then I am up.
Hazel followed me out of bed...she is sitting on the couch scratching a few Mosquito Bites...rubbing Benadryl on them and telling me about her dream last night (about Keystone Camp). Then she requests a big glass of milk and sits at the table to work on her Elvis Presley report. I have turned on a recording of one of Elvis' rehearsals to set the mood. The dogs are on the floor...chewing random inappropriate things.
Today, I am going with the kids and their gifted glass to see Chinese Acrobats then on to a Chinese Buffet. The theme this year in China. I feel lucky to be able to come with them on the majority of their field trips. Even at 8 and 10 they are excited to have me at school. I like that.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Needing a spouse today--family in crisis
Today is one of those days when it would have been nice if Lee had not joined the Army. It would have been nice to have Lee as a part of the family today, this week.
Kids are both behind with reports they are writing. Hazel works really hard. I did not push her over the vacation, however, because I feel like she is in 5th grade and deserves to have a Holiday without the stress of homework. However, now she is behind and had a point taken (rare for her) today because she was unprepared. Liam is also behind, sucking on his lip because he is worried about all the writing he needs to do.
I worked today so my Mother-in-law came over early as she always does. She got the kids off to school. Her back has been going into spasm again lately. I have known her for a long time and have watched her back defend her from various things like emotions, sadness, fear, etc. Something is working on her and today it went. She was in severe pain and ended up in the Emergency Room because she could not walk or move. They loaded her up with IV pain meds ....still in pain...still incapacitated...x-ray (no obvious injury)...so more pain meds...she began to relax and breathe. Friends and my visiting relatives pulled together to pick the kids of from school for us, feed them and help them get a start on homework.
I was at work and was able to check in on her in the ED. She had a good nurse. The dogs had to hang for 11 hours today while all the happened so I felt bad for them. However, it all worked out. I just wish Lee could have been here. His Mom could have used his support. The kids and I could have used his support as well.
Late now, heading to bed hoping that Alvin (the small dog) will sleep and not run around crazy in my bed.
Kids are both behind with reports they are writing. Hazel works really hard. I did not push her over the vacation, however, because I feel like she is in 5th grade and deserves to have a Holiday without the stress of homework. However, now she is behind and had a point taken (rare for her) today because she was unprepared. Liam is also behind, sucking on his lip because he is worried about all the writing he needs to do.
I worked today so my Mother-in-law came over early as she always does. She got the kids off to school. Her back has been going into spasm again lately. I have known her for a long time and have watched her back defend her from various things like emotions, sadness, fear, etc. Something is working on her and today it went. She was in severe pain and ended up in the Emergency Room because she could not walk or move. They loaded her up with IV pain meds ....still in pain...still incapacitated...x-ray (no obvious injury)...so more pain meds...she began to relax and breathe. Friends and my visiting relatives pulled together to pick the kids of from school for us, feed them and help them get a start on homework.
I was at work and was able to check in on her in the ED. She had a good nurse. The dogs had to hang for 11 hours today while all the happened so I felt bad for them. However, it all worked out. I just wish Lee could have been here. His Mom could have used his support. The kids and I could have used his support as well.
Late now, heading to bed hoping that Alvin (the small dog) will sleep and not run around crazy in my bed.
Monday, January 5, 2009
My little nutshell of nothing really
Kids are back to school today. One was excited and up early preparing. The other was pulled out by his feet and placed on the couch with cereal to encourage his eyes to open. I think you all know which child fits each scenario. The second one convinced me to come have lunch at school and that made it possible for the day to begin. We got off to school okay after that arrangement.
The visiting family from England/Khazakstan leave later this week. My kids are going to really miss their company. My husband's brother and sister-in-law have really been kind taking my kids with them on various outings, especially when I have been working. I will miss them too. They bring an interesting dynamic to our world here and I am forever impressed with the consistency in which meals are are prepared and eaten. A prepared meal nearly every night. My ADHD issues have never quite understood that or made it possible but I do like the idea and enjoy being part of it.
Ok...so I don't really have anything earth shattering to discuss. I am preoccupied with my dry heels, a patient who has become a friend who is now in ICU on the vent (no details...just not the way it should have been for her), the little dogs tear stains, the big dogs new trash hobby, the daughter's upcoming dental experience (4 teeth to pull before braces in May), refinancing the house (rates are low...), the son's chess club and camping requests, and finally ...getting to more Zumba classes at the YMCA. That is my little nutshell.
The visiting family from England/Khazakstan leave later this week. My kids are going to really miss their company. My husband's brother and sister-in-law have really been kind taking my kids with them on various outings, especially when I have been working. I will miss them too. They bring an interesting dynamic to our world here and I am forever impressed with the consistency in which meals are are prepared and eaten. A prepared meal nearly every night. My ADHD issues have never quite understood that or made it possible but I do like the idea and enjoy being part of it.
Ok...so I don't really have anything earth shattering to discuss. I am preoccupied with my dry heels, a patient who has become a friend who is now in ICU on the vent (no details...just not the way it should have been for her), the little dogs tear stains, the big dogs new trash hobby, the daughter's upcoming dental experience (4 teeth to pull before braces in May), refinancing the house (rates are low...), the son's chess club and camping requests, and finally ...getting to more Zumba classes at the YMCA. That is my little nutshell.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
False Lashes and a Happy New Year
Well, the Holiday is officially over. The kids and I all made it to midnight this year. My kids are growing up quickly. They were able to stay up last night and enjoy the ball drop and count down. We spent the evening with Lee's family including the cousins and one of Hazel's school friends. It was a good group. The kids performed a show they had been working on for a couple weeks and the adults played a few rounds of pool after a good meal of curry. I tried my best to make my own little crazy party by taking what seemed like hours to apply false eyelashes. I think I ended up using too much glue because my lids kept sticking. They were great though....very cool...even in the comfort of a simple house party. I can only imagine how cool they would be if I was at Obama's Inaugural Ball!
The kids and I have been invited to our friends at the beach for Ribs and Black Eyed Peas (southern tradition) and are looking forward to a nice afternoon. My mind is racing a it with optimism and planning for change in 2009.
I like it how a New Year forces a bit of reflection and commitment to doing things you have wanted to do but have put off. This year, as I placed my lashes, I decided that I needed a little more Rock and Roll. Not sure what that means but it felt good to think about it. I am also looking forward to the planning involved with Hazel and her transition to Middle School. We have tours this month of the Magnet Schools on out list and will submit her applications. She and I are talking a lot about the process and transition involved with Middle School.
Liam has enjoyed his time away from school. I am looking forward to getting him in a good mix of experiences this spring. He is going to start Piano lessons, will continue his Chess club and is looking into spring lacrosse or martial arts. I have been looking for some Civil War sites that we could visit as we are finishing The Red Badge of Courage. Like his dad, Liam loves history and I need to work a bit to encourage that (this area does not come naturally to me....).
That takes care of the kids...for me, well I am once again considering getting my GRE out of the way and looking at various Master's programs. I continue to be drawn to Palliative care and Hospice and will work on opportunities to integrate these skills. It is a little difficult because, with Lee gone, I don't feel comfortable making and big changes. The deployment forces life to be put on hold in a way because one never knows what will happen during the rest of the deployment and how he will be at adjusting when he gets back. I am going to work on taking advantage of this time to take care of what I need and want and hope that things will fall into place when he returns.
It was a tough year last year. I lost my Grandmother Irene, my rock. I have mourned her every day and still can not believe she is gone. I nearly lost my husband, a few times, but ultimately just lost him to the deployment. It was an important year.
I wish everyone the best for 2009. Don't tread lightly. Tread with intention and purpose. Make a commitment to change. Live with respect and challenge the status-quo. Don't allow yourself to settle for less that your are worthy. Create a life with generous love and affection. Create and maintain boundaries that allow you to live with grace. This is for all the people I love (including myself). Be grateful for freedom and the ability to make choices for how you live your life. Freedom is an awesome responsibility.
The kids and I have been invited to our friends at the beach for Ribs and Black Eyed Peas (southern tradition) and are looking forward to a nice afternoon. My mind is racing a it with optimism and planning for change in 2009.
I like it how a New Year forces a bit of reflection and commitment to doing things you have wanted to do but have put off. This year, as I placed my lashes, I decided that I needed a little more Rock and Roll. Not sure what that means but it felt good to think about it. I am also looking forward to the planning involved with Hazel and her transition to Middle School. We have tours this month of the Magnet Schools on out list and will submit her applications. She and I are talking a lot about the process and transition involved with Middle School.
Liam has enjoyed his time away from school. I am looking forward to getting him in a good mix of experiences this spring. He is going to start Piano lessons, will continue his Chess club and is looking into spring lacrosse or martial arts. I have been looking for some Civil War sites that we could visit as we are finishing The Red Badge of Courage. Like his dad, Liam loves history and I need to work a bit to encourage that (this area does not come naturally to me....).
That takes care of the kids...for me, well I am once again considering getting my GRE out of the way and looking at various Master's programs. I continue to be drawn to Palliative care and Hospice and will work on opportunities to integrate these skills. It is a little difficult because, with Lee gone, I don't feel comfortable making and big changes. The deployment forces life to be put on hold in a way because one never knows what will happen during the rest of the deployment and how he will be at adjusting when he gets back. I am going to work on taking advantage of this time to take care of what I need and want and hope that things will fall into place when he returns.
It was a tough year last year. I lost my Grandmother Irene, my rock. I have mourned her every day and still can not believe she is gone. I nearly lost my husband, a few times, but ultimately just lost him to the deployment. It was an important year.
I wish everyone the best for 2009. Don't tread lightly. Tread with intention and purpose. Make a commitment to change. Live with respect and challenge the status-quo. Don't allow yourself to settle for less that your are worthy. Create a life with generous love and affection. Create and maintain boundaries that allow you to live with grace. This is for all the people I love (including myself). Be grateful for freedom and the ability to make choices for how you live your life. Freedom is an awesome responsibility.
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