Blogging for blog's sake--looking for a plan

My smartest, most intuitive, brilliant, well read cousin in Idaho has started a blog. It sure is pretty. I really do not have web pretty skills. I can't even figure out how to put a pic on my blog. Better yet, I have about 30 things I need to post on Craig's List. It seems more overwhelming than it does practical to get the stiff posted and sold---so the stiff sits.....and sits.... Funny, considering the one side of my family does it for a living/hobby/what is the difference?

If I have not looked at the blogs for a few days I start to get concerned. My expatriate officer has yet to use spell check on his blog. So, I am a a moderator, and when I read his blog then I have to go back and and press the ABC with the check button that highlights the spelling issues and then right click to correct them. Usually the same words, really, drawer etc. It does not bother me because he is a really good writer and justice is not done to his writing when there are so many errors. However, when all I am doing is pressing spell check...well that is irritating. Maybe blogspot will upgrade and do automatic spell check like Word does. That would be nice.

I had three glasses of wine last night (Middle Sister Table Wine...in white...liked the label) and let Liam watch a mildly inappropriate Jackie Chan movie. He loves Jackie Chan. He laughs so hard. He says that it is okay that there are bad words because it reminds him what words he is NOT supposed to use--"so don't worry Mom", he tell me. He likes to help with my parenting guilt issues.

Hazel had her 11 year old doctor visit yesterday. She is 5'2 now---and I felt a twinge of sadness when he was telling us that because she started her period her height potential has been ...well.....not a lot of height potential left. I think the study of genetic height potential and the effects of puberty are interesting. The doctor knows I like these details so he humors me. Since her Dad is 5'10 and I am 5'5 and a half...based on her growth patters her genetic potential was 5'4 to 5'7. I was really hoping for the 5'7 for her. I think that is a great height. However, when you start your period 2 weeks prior to your 11th birthday---well....the brakes are slammed and you are lucky if you can pull out another 2 inches. I told her we could hang her from her feet from the ceiling. She was not really bothered about the conversation because she was focused on being hungry and getting back to school to give a presentation. She liked it when he talked to her about Middle School. She is always up for talking Middle School. She is rally excited about the changes coming her way academically. Ready for challenge. Anyway, I think I will hang her upside down...stick her on a Pilate's machine---when I am not obsessively clipping her nails and reminding her to brush her hair and wash her face. Parenting is strange. Today....she is having 4 teeth pulled in preparation for the braces in May. There is nothing gentle about turning 11.

I sent Lee a CNN article about marriage and life. The idea was that depression is not always depression...it can be disappointment. A new way to view it. I should post the link but I don't remember it. I like to evaluate things like this and give new words to the same old thing. He stumbled a bit trying to figure out if I was blaming him for something or who was supposed to be the one that is the target of the article. I did not know, it just seemed pertinent. We have been together for 14 years now and I get a regular list from him about what he needs me to do for him emotionally in order to make him happy. I shut down.....ME DO FOR YOU. I am the one on SSRI's for the past 7 years! Especially when (this is my repeat victim thing....makes him really mad....so I apologize in advance) I am here, working, raising the kids, taking care of the house, giving everything I have so that he can be a soldier. ----I keep going.....doing this when HE signed up to do this 6 years ago without my support--and have had to do this solo thing every year for at least 3 months but usually more. (victim rant is done now). Talk about disappointment. I felt it last night. Maybe the wine though. Possibly. Didn't go well. Maybe skype is not a good idea---too many ways to sigh and roll eyes.

Route 66. I feel that if Paul McCartney did it then I should. Me and the kids....with a pop up camper. I spend about an hour yesterday thinking about buying a pop up camper I found on Craig's list. Then I read about how much work they are to set up and take down. Sounded like a royal pain, especially when I am a solo adult. I still like the idea though. Maybe if I have one with the hydraulic lift? Does anyone remember my hitch obsession from my first blog. Well..that damn thing. Great hitch...but the dealer told me it was a 2 inch hitch and it is only a 1.25 inch. My bike carrier (thanks Dad) that was supposed to bring me so much joy is in the garage...box open....because I need a hitch adaptor AND someone with the patience to follow the directions and put the thing together. I was starting to sweat as I tried to lay out the pieces. So I left it. Do you think I could pull a pop up camper with a 1.25 hitch on the Jeep Patriot? Probably.


Then.....if I am not random enough. I spent 30 precious, yesterday minutes talking to my own personal Dog Whisperer that I just hired. His name is Ace...he is Spanish speaking but not sure where he is from because I have not met him yet. He is into dog behavior and pack management using a lot of the dog's genetics as a guide. He is in for some fun when he comes Saturday to observe this pack. Me, the kids, the two untrained dogs, the cat---all in the 1650 sq. foot Town Home. No, not motor home...Town Home. Good luck to Ace!

My head is so jumbled with this and that and what to do and what not to do. Not crazy jumbled....but just craving a devoted emotion. Craving a plan and the focus that sometimes comes with a plan. When was the last time I had a plan?

TGIF--off to the shower then the dentist with Hazel. I hope they give her gas--poor girl. Then...later to the Mayo with Liam for his light therapy (by the way..THAT is going really well...his skin is really making some melanin....way to go melanocytes).

I am thinking that I really do need Route 66. Sooner than later.