Just finished 2 hours with Ace the dog trainer/human trainer. I think the dogs are "getting it" better than I am. Maybe I should have just had children....because my "Mom" look communicates well to children but my "I am the alpha...stance" well....it needs some work. The whole thing made me tired....but the dogs did great and Ace was patient.
A lot of people read this blog--some I do know and some I know not so well. I recently had a critique from my DAD! He told me that I am a whiner and basically need to take Happy Pills ( I already do) and "suck it up"--that there are a lot of people in this world that have it harder than I do. Wow...what a blow. ----I know he feels this way and I try not to let it bother me. Yes, I do wish he had empathy and understanding about what my life and the kid's life is and leave room for my perception of the situation. However, like many people...I married my father in many ways. My Dad identifies with Lee and his choices and sees this situation through those common eyes. This is not a criticism, just a fact. So, although I have made a pact with myself to apologize less and stop feeling guilty about every move I make-------(maybe tomorrow) I do apologize if I ever come across as unsupportive of the Military or what my soldier is going through. I understand the loneliness and the risks involved and I think it is a great sacrifice he has made. The fact is, however, this is a volunteer service. He volunteered. So it is what it is.
When there was a draft it was not the choice of the soldier and the level of empathy should have been ever greater, if possible. If my husband does not did not want to put himself in the line of fire...then he has had more than one chance to make that happen. If he did not want to live alone in a small Box, freezing, away from family with the daily fear of being mortared or killed.....well...he can make that choice. He makes his own choices. That is what I want my Dad to understand. Everything happening to Lee is his choice (and he is comfortable with his choice, misses us but enjoys what he is doing). In my opinion, part of his job (as an officer and soldier) is to understand what the family goes through at home. I should not have to shield him from what is happening here...he chose to be married and have kids and being part of that is also a choice.
I gripe at times because this situation was and is not my choice and it is not going away. I do, however, offer daily support and an open ear for Lee (whether I like it or not). I do speak highly of him to the kids and they have pride in his service. Better yet, I have put anything that I might want on hold to accommodate deployment and I am actually okay with it because doing what I need to do is my choice. I choose it every day. OK....blah..blah...blah...sorry Dad if I offend or make your more angry. I wish you did not think I was a "whiner" and I wish you did not continue to tell me to get an "attitude adjustment". These are hurtful things that children should not have to hear.
On a better note...
Hazel had a massive sleep over last night. My Mother-in-law and I worked very hard to feed, entertain and tolerate 11 girls for the 11th Birthday Celebration. We did a great job. I think fun was had by all. Although she is probably at home digging through trash for 4 of her forks that are unaccounted for.......and there are lots of muddy white socks in the laundry---it was a good party. There is a new specialty cupcake shop in Jacksonville called Cami Cakes. This is my little plug. This place is so divine. Cami Cakes were a big hit at the party.
Liam, well he is having a tough time. He has been out of school for a week with the flu and felt left out and annoyed at his sister's party. The little dog in training just ate one of his favorite toys and he has been crying about Lee today because he has no one to wrestle. He has hot me twice and threw a huge crying tantrum. These behaviors are very unlike Liam. This times try me--I take on every emotion he has. So, hopefully Lee will call Liam and they can actually have some sort of connection or play chess online. But, Lee was up all night with work in Iraq and will probably be irritated with this blog...so the likelihood of this happening is slim. Hmmm...maybe I should go to church in the morning.
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